It's the rhetorical equivalent of going nuclear and stupid at the same time., The only thing we knew for certain was the American Civil War was not a prelude to a kiss., It turned out that in the governance of a nations security, many absurd situations had to be worked around: a toxic clown in the Foreign Office [Boris Johnson], a state visit by a narcissistic bed-wetter [Trump], the tendency of the electorate to jump off' the occasional cliff [Brexit]., Politics is the only art whose artists regularly disown their masterpieces., One good thing about being an immigrant in the US, no one cares about my sociopolitical opinion. The game where EVERYBODYgets to be funny!In person or online. [CDATA[ Ready to cast your vote and want the perfect voting quote or "I voted!" . That should be a new word. }); afterwards to explain why it didnt happen.- Winston Churchill, An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.- Simon Cameron, The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.- Dave BarrySince a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.- Charles de GaulleIn politics, absurdity is not a handicap.- Napoleon BonaparteInstead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. Hillary Clinton Funny Political Meme Photo. And to have the ability Mark Hanna, 8. He did say that afterwards, gays will come in and do a beautiful renovation., Liberal, shmiberal. Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with. The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day. talk through, and one to pull rabbits out of if elected. elections are broken, the other half believes they are fixed. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. Take a good look at me, because you'll never recognize me once my opponent gets done with me. - Groucho Marx. We are a part of Europe. " Why join the navy if you can be a pirate? - Carl Sandburg, It is fast approaching the point where I dont want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.- Erma Bombeck, Politics is not the art of the possible. You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else. I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times. New Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. Nikita Khrushchev, 18. - Anonymous. - Plato. One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. And to have the ability afterward to explain why it didn't happen -, Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word -, Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president but they don't want them to become politicians in the process -, Statesmen tell you what is true even though it may be unpopular. Its the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.- John Kenneth Galbraith, Without going to jail, you cannot be a big politician.- Babban Kumar, member of Parliament in India, He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word. It's not their field. Get more laughs from our favorite jokes about politics. Shop Funny Political Quotes Christmas cards from Zazzle to find festive greeting cards, photo cards & more. Sports / Baseball / Football / Basketball / Dogs / Cats / More Short Jokes plus Funny T-shirts / Funny Signs / Tombstones / Bumper Stickers, Random Jokes / Favorite Jokes / Funny Emails / Funny Lists / Practical Jokes, Love / Marriage / Parents / Kids / Women / Men / Family / Grandparents / Seniors / Aging / Friendship, Life / Death / Inspiration / Work / Money / Success / Mankind, Movies / Music / Famous People / Funny Proverbs / Fortune Cookies / Witty Retorts, Health / Doctor / Food / Exercise / Beauty / Clothes, Travel / Writing / Books / TV / Advertising, Science / Nature Time / Reality Weather / Tech / School / College, Very Funny Jokes For Your Fun-Loving Friends, Very Short Jokes That Remain In Your Brain. An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. We need more statesmen.- Bob Edwards, There are two things that are important in politics. Political humor quotes The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help. Funny Political 2022 3,963 Results Let's Go Brandon Sticker By Fyms From $1.99 donald trump 2024 take America back, political Funny Joe Biden anti biden harris retro 2022/2024 trump shirt Essential T-Shirt By ohmaDD $16.56 $23.66 (30% off) lets go brandon Sticker By Two Digits 20 From $1.28 TORY SCUM, all tories are cunts Classic T-Shirt By Merazi "You're at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude," he replies. Dentist: "You need a crown.". "He came second". 100 Inspirational Quotes 1. If you agree with him, he is a statesman.- David Lloyd George, Running for president is like sticking your face in the blade of a fan.- Mike HuckabeeJust because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. But I repeat myself. which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick Shmiberal: one who is assumed liberal, just because he's a professional whiner in the newspaper. ORourke, 19. Blood and glass were everywhere. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. // logged into Facebook user but not a GR app user; show FB button The people who need it most never use it.". RD.COM Arts & Entertainment Quotes Funny, The honorable Member is living proof that a pigs bladder on a stick can be elected to Parliament. Labor Member of Parliament Tony Banks on Tory Member of Parliament Terry Dicks. "If you don't go to other men's funerals, they won't go to yours." If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed -, After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood -, The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop -, All government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery -, No man is good enough to govern another man without the other's consent -, Let us never forget that government is ourselves and not an alien power over us. I offer my opponents a bargain. In this article, Ive collected 22 funny political quotes and sayings that will make you blush. There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. This page reprises some of these political quotations and remembers those who spoke them. The problem with political jokes is they get elected. If you ever injected truth into politics, youd have no politics. "Common sense is like deodorant. -, Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. Newest funny jokes of the day. There are two things that are important in politics. is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds A politician is a person with whose politics you dont agree. tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. 15 Best Happy Birthday Poems for Boyfriend to Wish Him, 30+ Best Hedge Fund Managers Quotes of All Time, 75 Democracy Slogans and Independence Quotes, first secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.". If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe -, Is there some thought being given to subsidizing the clearing of rainforests in order for some countries to eliminate that production of greenhouse gases? Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. They both need to be changed often. The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law -, In politics we presume that everyone who knows how to get votes knows how to administer a city or a state. Ray Bradbury Political tags - such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth - are never basic criteria. Some others, however, are remembered as quite frighteningly dim-witted nonsense. Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. "New Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. The word itself says 'I'm possible!'" Audrey. 81.11 % / 849 votes. I believe with love and compassion we can make this world a better place. Is it because the pressure of the job plays havoc with the mind when our leaders have to speak off the cuff? We See more ideas about political memes, funny political memes, memes. Get a dog!, Rev. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponents youth and inexperience. Ronald Reagan, 4. Be the first to rate this post. So here are a few more just for fun: The more that I read of the ancient philosophers, the more I realise that mankind hasn't really changed all that much. Stuck somewhere between "I need to save" and "you only live once". up a turd by the clean end.- Unknown Author, Politics is show business for ugly people.- Paul BegalaI am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times.- Sen. Everett Dirksen, I have the most reliable friend you can have in American politics, and that is ready money.Phil GrammI offer my opponents a bargain. Will Rogers, You may also like: 50 Best Quotes About Work Ethics, 6. Its like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in hair scrunchies. Charmaine J Forde October proved a riot a riot to the senses and climaxed those giddy last weeks before Halloween. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. More like flee the country and move to a small island. These are just a few of his words: I make no apologies for placing some genuinely serious quotes in this section. $j("#connectPrompt").show(); America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote. And to tell the truth, theres hardly any difference. I'm here to avoid friends on Facebook. Hilarious quotes and sayings about women. 8 Funny Political Quotes (and Insults) You Can't Help But Laugh At Andy Simmons Updated: Mar. If they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. - Andy BorowitzNext time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.- Molly Ivins, All of the problems we face today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indians.- Pat PaulsenIf you ever injected truth into politics, youd have no politics.
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